Photo from COYOTE UGLY
The true pinnacle of being ‘white girl wasted’ is of course dancing on a bar. When I was growing up there wasn’t a lot of censorship when it came to family movie night. Meaning that from a very, very, young age I watched movies that were well above my age group. From Superstar, to Jaws, and of course Coyote Ugly, I got a very inclusive cinematic experience from my parents. Granted this is probably where my fear of swimming in open water originated.
From a young age I was always the shy, nerdy kid. In a lot of ways, I still am. And as a shy, nerdy child I always envied the main characters in movies who always had their big scene where all of the attention was on them, yet they did not crumble into series of panic. It’s one of the many predictable movie cliches that I like. And me growing up as the shy nerdy type it was hard for me to imagine that I would be the person on that bar making a fool of herself. Nonetheless when I have just enough High Noon™ in my system you are bound to find me climbing the nearest sturdy table attempting a sexy dance that I cannot physically do.
I don’t really have a point nor some profound or symbolism here. I get drunk and dance on bars. It’s now a part of my personality that may or may not find its way to mortify me in the future. But for now, I’m going to continue being the hot mess friend who they need to put the child leash when we go out. So, if you see a short, curvy, redhead on a table she is fine. Just make sure she doesn’t fall.